Matt: I’ve got a surprise for you darling!
Bec: You’ve learnt how to budget?
Matt: I picked up my gun today! I’ve got it right here. Want to see it?
Bec: Get that thing out of the house! I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to know where it is. Store it somewhere bulletproof, bomb proof, burglar proof, child proof, and preferably Matt proof. I hate guns. And, will you PLEASE learn the difference between a surprise for you, and a surprise for me.
Matt: Is it a surprise if I want to go shoot my gun now, instead of talk to you?
Bec: At what?
Matt: Nothing. I just want to shoot it.
Bec: It’s 8.30pm; we have horses on our property, cows at the neighbours’, and wallabies everywhere. You are not randomly shooting a gun into the distance at 8.30pm at night. You’ll accidentally kill something, and, our neighbours will think you’ve shot me.
Matt: They’ll be able to hear you yelling at me after the fact, so I doubt it. And I wasn’t going to shoot it randomly; I was going to shoot with sniper-like precision.
Bec: At what?
Bec: No way.
Matt: The couch?
Matt: The old couch. We just got a new couch. You said you hate the old couch. I’ll put it down the back. It’s a pretty big target so you won’t have to worry about me missing and hitting a bunny. Not that I’d miss, I’m like Annie Oakley.
Bec: No idea who that is. Anyway. How about you test all of that ‘precision’ you possess and ‘shoot’ all the lantana and weeds with the spray gun tomorrow? That could be fun?
Matt: How about LAME?
Bec: Very mature.
Matt: Telling me to go shooting with a spray gun is the same as you asking for a diamond necklace and me presenting you one from a gumball machine.
Bec: That would be the most you’ve spent on a present for me since we got married.
Matt: Yes, well, before we were married, there was a strong likelihood a present would lead to sex. Now I might as well just save my money and spend it on firearms.
Bec: Yes, well, how much money did you save up for this particular firearm?
Matt: None, I put it on the credit card you don’t have access to.