What happens when a woman (Bec) goes beer shopping

The drink Bec mistook for beer.

Matt was stuck at work past five on Friday afternoon, being busy and important. Bec would have to do the grocery shopping.

Matt: Hi Darling, how’d you go?

Bec: Good. I got some white wine for you, and I picked this shiraz. Is it good?

Matt: Yes, that looks very good. Well done.

Bec: Thanks!

Matt: What sort of beer did you get?

Bec: I got you two beers.

Matt: Oh wonderful. So two six packs?

Bec: No.

Matt: Two cartons? Gosh were you able to lift them?

Bec: No, I got you two beers.

Matt: What do you mean ‘two’ beers? Do you mean two types of beers?

Bec: No, I mean two beers.

Matt: Are they longnecks?

Bec: What’s a longneck?

Matt: They’re big beers.

Bec: No, I got you two normal sized beers. XXXX light.

Matt: There’s such a thing as XXXX light?

Bec: I asked the guy for the beer that most men buy and then asked if they had a light version of it. I think you drink too much, so if you only have two beers, you’ll be limited in what you can drink and you’ll be healthy and you won’t die of liver disease and I won’t have to go through the grief of losing you or ever be in a position where I have to kill a spider by myself.

Matt: You buying XXXX light, is like you asking me to pick up your pill subscription from the chemist and I come back with some Panadol. You get it from the same shop, it looks roughly the same, but they just don’t do the same thing. Seriously Darling, where’s the nearest bottle shop – we’re going to get some decent beer.

Bec: We’d better get some Panadol too.

Matt: Why?

Bec: Because when you’ve finished your decent beer and ask me if I want to have sex with you, I’m going to have a headache.


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