Dolphins and Whales

Matt wanted to use a photo of beached dolphins. I told him that was disgusting. I got him to change his mind by telling him that Jessica Alba was in Flipper. Thus.

One of Matt’s strengths is trivialising important things.

Our conversation today, following a story on the radio RE: dolphins beaching themselves and a number of them dying:

Bec: Gosh, with all these dolphins and whales beaching themselves all the time and more often than not, dying, you think they’d have developed some kind of machine to pick them up and push them back into the ocean quickly. Every beach that’s a known trouble spot should have something like that.

Matt: Yes. Or they could just put signs up warning the dolphins and whales to turn back – that beaching themselves is dangerous.

Bec: Right.

Matt: Like they do with cigarette packets – have signs that show the damage cause by beaching.

Bec: Ri-ight.

Matt: No, you’re right. If the signs were on the beach it would be too late. You’d have to put them underwater.

Bec: Wow, not sure when I bought a ticket to this stand-up gig, but I want a refund.

Matt: Just below the low-tide mark.

Bec: …

Matt: I like your machine idea too.

Bec: You do? Really?

Matt: Yeah, they’d also be useful for picking up American Republican election refugees who’ve had too much ice cream and can’t get up out of the sand. You could make them pay $5 a go.


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