Is a bird in the pan worth a bite of ham?
Treats
Matt returns from a quick visit into Coles, opens the car door
Matt: I’ve got everything for dinner, AND, I got myself a little treat!
Bec: Yay! What’d you get darling?
Matt: I got some Rollo desserts. They were one for $2.55 or three for $5, so I got three – nom nom nom!
Bec: Nice! They’ll be delicious. Did you get me a little treat too?
Matt: Umm…
Bec: Umm?
Matt: Erm.
Bec: I’ll take that as a no then.
Matt: SURPRISE, of course I got you a treat!
Bec: Oh, you’re so sweet. Thank you darling, what did you get?
Matt: I got you, are you ready …. Nacho chips!
Bec: Aren’t we having nachos for dinner?
Matt: Yes
Bec: So nacho chips aren’t really a ‘treat’ then, are they.
Matt: Yes they are.
Bec: That’s like me saying the onion I bought for the spaghetti bolognaise last night is your treat.
Matt: I like onion.
—
Washing
Matt: I brought the washing in for you!
Bec: That’s very nice of you.
Matt: Yep, and it’s all folded and put away.
Bec: Oh darling, you didn’t have to do that.
Matt: I know you’re busy so I thought I’d help.
Bec: Thank you.
Bec goes into bedroom, notices all Matt’s clothes put away and hers still scattered on the bed.
Bec: So, when you said “It’s all folded and put away”, you actually meant all YOUR clothes were folded and put away, but mine are laying in a crumpled heap on the bed.
Matt: I guess so.
Bec: Well, thank you for at least bringing my clothes in. That was nice of you.
Matt: I know, right?
—
Pizza
Matt: Darling I think we have a mouse problem again!
Bec: Oh no! Really? Did you see a mouse?
Matt: No, I didn’t see it, but we’ve got one. One of them has eaten a big chunk out of your pizza.
Bec: That does look an awful lot like you’ve taken a bite out of my pizza.
Matt: Nope.
Bec: I can actually see your teeth marks in it, and you’ve left the crust. Like you do.
Matt: It’s only a little bite. I just wanted to taste it.
Bec: It’s a ham and pineapple pizza.
Matt: I’ve never tasted ham and pineapple pizza before.
Bec: You take a bite of mine every time we get pizza.
Matt: Nope.
Bec: Even if that wasn’t true, which it is, you told me you worked at Dominos at uni, so I know you’ve tasted ham and pineapple pizza. In fact, I’m pretty sure your cooking blog has a ham and pineapple pizza recipe on it.
Matt: Maybe. Hey, look, I’ve replaced the piece I stole with a piece of chicken from my pizza. As you can see, it perfectly fits the gap, so there’s no net loss of pizza. In fact, you’ve come out ahead because you’ve effectively traded stupid dough for delicious chicken.
Bec: I didn’t want chicken, I wanted ham and pineapple, that’s why I ordered ham and pineapple.
