Paddling
Matt, offering his best angle.
Matt: Can you stop paddling?
Bec: Why?
Matt: I want to see if it makes any difference. I don’t think it’s going to make much difference so you might as well save yourself the trouble and stop wetting me with your unorthodox oar technique.
Bec: OK. I’ve stopped.
Matt: Actually, I think I can tell the difference.
Bec: See. I’m stronger than you think.
Matt: No, wait, it was just some leaves floating past. I thought they were floating past slower when you stopped paddling but it was just an optical illusion.
Bec: I’ll tell you what’s an optical illusion.
Matt: What?
Bec: Your face.
Equipment
Bec: “So how much did you pay for that special waterproof bag that you roll up yourself and tie in a knot? $180?”
Matt: About that.
Bec: How many times have you used it?
Matt: Since all time, or since we moved to the country?
Bec: Since we moved to the country.
Matt: I haven’t used it since we moved to the country.
Bec: Since all time?
Matt: Once.
Bec: Would you say it was a wise investment?
The Sink or Float Game
Bec: If I drop this paddle over the side, accidentally, will it sink or float?
Matt: I don’t know. My paddle floats but I gave you the shit one, so it might not float.
Bec: What about the waterproof bag? Sink or float?
Matt: It will float.
Bec: It’d want to for $180. Esky – sink or float?
Matt: Float.
Bec: Your hat – sink or float.
Matt: Float. No point in even trying.
Bec: iPhone – sink or float?
Matt: Whose iPhone?
Bec: Mine.
Matt: It’ll float. You should try it.
Bec: Let me try it with yours first.
Matt: No.
Bec: Matt Granfield – sink or float?
Making a sail from a picnic blanket
Rebecca: Born to sail.
Matt: Hey, hold this picnic blanket up.
Bec: Why?
Matt: I’m making a sail. I’ll hold this end, you hold that end. I’ve tied the bottom corners to the canoe with a clove hitch.
Bec: What’s a clove hitch?
Matt: Totally the best knot for the situation.
Bec: How many friends did you have in high school?
The Romance
Matt: I love this seating position. We’re not facing each other so I can’t hear you and you can’t ask so many questions.
Wildlife
Bec: Do you think someone hateful might have put freshwater crocodiles in here?
Matt: No.
Bec: Are there such things as freshwater sharks?
Matt: No.
Bec: If I saw a fin, I’d push you in first. So I’d have time to swim away whilst it was still eating you.
Grass is Greener
Bec: So do you like our new canoe?
Matt: It’s heaps better than my kayak.
Bec: Is that canoe over there better than ours?
Matt: No, ours is the best.
Bec: Have you ever not got the best?
Matt: No.
Bec: How long do you think you’ll be interested in canoeing?
Matt: I think I’ll be interested in it for a while. It’s nice being able to spend time with you rather than kayaking by myself.
Bec: Really? That’s not like you though. You’re usually a bit ‘grass is greener’. You don’t want a windsurfer now that you’ve got a canoe?
Matt: Hmm?
Bec: I said , are you sure you don’t want a windsurfer now that you’ve got a canoe?
Matt: Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you, I was checking out the sailboat over there. How much do you reckon they are?
