The fickle freckle
Rebecca is generally speaking, an optimistic, positive person. She smiles a lot and is, for the better part, lovely to be around. However, she does tend to worry more than most, and in any given situation will naturally gravitate to the worst possible case scenario. Here, revealed for the first time ever, are 10 of the best of the worst.
Number Ten
Bec: Is my hair iron off?
Matt: Yes. See, it’s not plugged in, you’ve wrapped the cord around it and it’s on the other side of the room to the power point on a granite bench.
Bec: I’m worried it could burn the house down. Are you sure it’s off?
Number Nine
Bec: Will you drive safely?
Matt: Yes. I’m only going down to the shops to get the Sunday papers. I might take the Alfa, it needs a run.
Bec: Can you take the four wheel drive please. It’s safer.
Matt: The Alfa has, like, ten airbags. And I’m literally only going five minutes down the road.
Bec: I just think you’d be safer in the four wheel drive.
Number Eight
Bec: My chest hurts
Matt: That’s because we were canoeing. You’ve been using chest muscles that don’t get used very often.
Bec: I think it might be cancer
Number Seven
Bec: What do you think this is?
Matt: It’s a mosquito bite
Bec: I think it might be cancer
Number Six
Bec: Does this mole on my chest look funny to you?
Matt: What mole?
Bec: This mole
Matt: That’s a freckle. A very small freckle.
Bec: I think it’s changing shape. I downloaded a mole scan app on my phone. Can you scan it.
Matt: OK
Bec: What does it say?
Matt: It says you have a freckle
Bec: I’m booking a doctor’s appointment
Number Five
Bec: Where have you been?
Matt: It’s five thirty, what do you mean?
Bec: Exactly. How long does it take for you to drive home from work?
Matt: About 20 minutes. I finished at ten past five.
Bec: I thought you might have had a car accident
Number Four
Bec: Where’s your appendix?
Number Three
Matt: Why is this idiot not driving through the intersection?
Bec: Give him time, he’s just being careful. You should be more careful like him.
Matt: This is just getting silly now. You could have driven the titanic through that gap.
Bec: Just be patient
Matt: No, I think he’s on the phone. That’s why he isn’t going. He’s on the phone and he doesn’t even know we’re behind him
Bec: Maybe he’s having a heart attack. We should help.
Number Two
Bec: I have bruises on my arms.
Matt: That’s because we were lifting a table up the stairs. Look, the bruises exactly match where the table was sitting on your arms.
Bec: OK
Matt: What are you Googling?
Bec: Adult Leukaemia
Number One
Bec: I’m going to give this ball to Molly. It’s a promotional hackey sack. They were giving them out at the shopping centre.
Matt: OK
Bec: Do you think they put poison in them?
