20 Weeks Ago…
Bec: So, I think I’m ovulating…
Matt: OK Darling. I’ve just got to finish watering the grapes. They’re getting a bit dry and I’ve finally got the length of the septic tank overflow pipe right so it reaches the furthest vine. There’s some poo and stuff about the place, but it’s good fertiliser. I’ll only be another five minutes.
Bec: Did you hear what I said?
Matt: Something about waiting. I’ll only be five more minutes.
Bec: No, I said ‘ovulating’.
Matt: I thought you said you were ‘over waiting’.
Bec: You need to get your hearing checked.
Matt: You need to stop mumbling from the verandah while I’m out in the vineyard. I can barely hear you.
Bec: You’re such a romantic.
Matt: I’m not the one wearing tracksuit pants, standing on a verandah, telling anyone who’ll listen that she’s ovulating.
Bec: I think we’ve established no one was listening.
19 Weeks Ago…
Bec: So, I think I’m pregnant.
Bec: I’ve peed on three different sticks. They all have a little bar on them.
Matt: And a little bar means we’re having a baby?
Matt: Does three bars mean we’re having three little babies?
Bec: No, it means I have anxiety and I didn’t trust the first two sticks.
Matt: If we’re having triplets and this is a test, that’s OK. I will still support you.
Bec: Yes, well, if you run out on me now, my Dad will cut off your testicles, so I wasn’t doubting your dedication.
Matt: OK. Well, just so you know.
Bec: Well this is very exciting. How do you feel?
Matt: This is the best thing ever!
Bec: I know!
Matt: What do we do now?
Bec: I have no idea.
Matt: Don’t you have motherly instincts? Are they kicking in? What are they saying?
Bec: They’re saying “It’s time to consult Dr Google.”
Matt: Are you sure you want to do that?
Matt: It’s just that Dr Google isn’t very reliable is he? Remember the time Dr Google diagnosed you with smallpox?
Bec: I had a number of the symptoms.
Matt: You had a mosquito bite.